AHEM!

I have a confession to make that surely will end up in myself bathing in half rotten to fully rotten tomato juice... I don't think zombies are awesome. I don't think they are scary; quite frankly, I find them a bit... well... lame. There, I said it. This is the result of a condition of mine. You see, I was born without the "voluntary suspension of disbelief" gland. I've managed to live a normal existence... but I do bother my friends and acquaintances to hell.

All I see in zombies, other than make up and fake blood, is rotting corpses that are either too fragile to resist half well aimed not so hard blows or too stiff to be a threat. Think about it: rigor mortis makes them unable to bend their arms up enough to grab you, the jaw can't bite... not hard enough, anyways. That and their stench precedes them enough for the living to spot them and run or shoot. Unless you are anosmic. Then poor of you in a zombie outbreak.

That's what I am talking about, I tend to analyze things since I see them. Therefore I can see in horror games or movies how the plot sets up a series of nerve wrecking experiences that lead to a startle, making the startling element bloody or disgusting or both, it appears as a scare, that stirs up the watcher's own fears and then you have the watcher thinking that is scary shit.

So, and speaking of shit, literally, this suspension of the suspension of disbelief that I suffer from leads me to coldly think about the setting in the infamous "2 girls, 1 cup" video and arrive to the conclusion that yes, in fact there are people capable of it. Perversion and fetishes are strange like that. Stranger and more disturbing either. It is disgusting and depressive, but yes, it is shit, real shit, and yes, they did all that to it.

On a(n apparently) lighter note, I did suspend my suspension of the suspension of disbelief once, playing a game. I cried. She didn't deserve to die. That nonexistant pile of pixels I for a second called a sister of mine, who was the sister of the main character, actually. I beg you for a minute of silence in honor of... that.

"Ahkay, whatever"

Said Kishimoto in front of the paper "Another twist here, then a twist there, I totally forgot where the plot was, we put an obscure psychological goal no kid will understand and will label as 'lame' for the bad guy and we get this shit done"

I am certain he doesn't really think like that. But good lord does he appear to. After some self conclusive, somewhat interesting bad vs good battles, including the villains' backgrounds, Kishimoto indulges himself in a pool of escalating godmodding characters, everyone draws the ultimate ninja technique only to be defeated by a more ultimate ninja technique that is no match for the third ultimate ninja technique. Susanoo, the fire, the beasts... and I can tell what will happen: Narto, our adorable loser Narto will defeat every single un-defeatable ultimate ninja technique... with his heartfelt speeches.

Pain fell for that. And he was so mighty he killed the unkillable Kakashi with a NAIL. Yes, yes, a NAIL, carelessly thrown his way. Jiraiya attempted to reason, he lost his life in the process, many ninjas attempted to reason, they failed miserably. Narto appears and repeats an speech we've heard countless times AND HE MANAGES TO MAKE PAIN REGRET, REVIVE ALL PEOPLE HE KILLED AN HOUR EARLIER AND DIE PEACEFULLY. Not only that, his lovely origami weilding girlfriend becomes one of Narto's fans...

Needed, as Narto is losing fans at a rapid pace. Not those die hard love-to-hate-I-am-too-cool-for-Narto-now-but-I-still-don't-miss-a-page, but the other ones as well. closeted or not. At least the closeted fans can sigh in relief as they have no fandom to hide anymore.

Thanks, Kishi.

I have a blog, yay!

You now shout "yay!"
...
GOOD
I'll finish this later. MAYBE.